My life is going swimmingly. I work out regularly, look great, not ill in any way, my jobs are wonderful, my friendships are sturdy, and yet, I get twinges of...worry, or fear, or that something isn't right. This isn't true though, there's nothing wrong in my life.
Ever get that twinge? That something's wrong, but when you go throughout the files in your brain, you can't pinpoint anything? It's just annoying.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Get a little mud on the tires
I dig when people experiment with their style...ya know the kind that have 6 different styles, and each fits them perfectly. I find it admirable in a superficial way, the sister that is 25 is like this, she can be punk, indie, classic, and flapper-esque and always pulls it off.
I am small town/classic. Nothing fancy, nothing outrageous. If I have levi's or a sundress, I'm ok.
Country is my soundtrack, but classic rock and pop are the background music. It sounds elementary, but I have noticed wherever I go, country music connects people, I dare say more than any other genre, at least this decade that's true.
Perhaps one of the most pointless posts of my blogging life, but ya know what? Why not?
I am small town/classic. Nothing fancy, nothing outrageous. If I have levi's or a sundress, I'm ok.
Country is my soundtrack, but classic rock and pop are the background music. It sounds elementary, but I have noticed wherever I go, country music connects people, I dare say more than any other genre, at least this decade that's true.
Perhaps one of the most pointless posts of my blogging life, but ya know what? Why not?
Saturday, May 21, 2011
:-s Day or Time
My upbringing and personal knowledge of the end times and what the Bible says, clearly tells me that no one knows the day or time in which Jesus will come back. "Like a thief in the night" is pretty much the only hint we're getting, and I think it's good to not know...panic and caos would be inevitable, and no one would truly live life to the fullest because of fear/waiting.
I have felt anxious and weird all week long. I thought it was just because of my lack of full-time job-dom, but now I'm wondering if this whole MAY 11, 2011 is actually what has been in the back of my mind, ruining my times in the sun where I would just relax, but that unknown...thing was bothering me.
I highly doubt anything will happen tomorrow. Even if it does, I know where I am going, but, as selfish as it sounds, I still have so many things I want to do here before I gotta leave. I know the view from heaven of Earth will be pretty great compared to the view from an airplane, Eyers Rock, or Mount Kilimanjaro, but that doesn't make me want to see these things any less. I want to know parts of this world beyond Louisiana, Idaho, and Hawaii. I just hope I get to experience it...and that this uneasy feeling goes away, and that it's replaced with a peaceful, easy one.
I have felt anxious and weird all week long. I thought it was just because of my lack of full-time job-dom, but now I'm wondering if this whole MAY 11, 2011 is actually what has been in the back of my mind, ruining my times in the sun where I would just relax, but that unknown...thing was bothering me.
I highly doubt anything will happen tomorrow. Even if it does, I know where I am going, but, as selfish as it sounds, I still have so many things I want to do here before I gotta leave. I know the view from heaven of Earth will be pretty great compared to the view from an airplane, Eyers Rock, or Mount Kilimanjaro, but that doesn't make me want to see these things any less. I want to know parts of this world beyond Louisiana, Idaho, and Hawaii. I just hope I get to experience it...and that this uneasy feeling goes away, and that it's replaced with a peaceful, easy one.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
While I'm up...
"Black, black..black and blue, beat me til I'm numb, tell the devil I said hey when you get back to where you're from..."
Man, Bruno Mars can be a downer...Anyways! Some thoughts:
At the moment, after much frustration, I realize I am where I'm supposed to be. If I were meant to be somewhere else, I'd be there. When I ask God above to make me the women he wants me to be, and show me my path, but nothing changes, maybe it's because I'm actually right where I belong, at this moment, in this time, during these unsure days of my simple, easy life.
I keep thinking of Hawaii, more specifically the ocean...it's calling out to me, I literally FEEL it staring me down...Water is my element, and swimming,my passion...Least one of them. I don't get to revel in this joy as often as I'd like, but when I do,rest assured, I never take it for granted. I am in love; it's power, danger, depth, promises, stories...Everything. I lately feel so far from it, far from a piece of me. I need to get back to the place I really love. And dancing, dancing near the ocean. I've only done it by myself, but it was still the best of all my worlds wrapped into one regular sunrise on a beach in Waikiki...can't quite imagine what it would have been like to have someone there dancing with me. Someday...
I'm reading this book called, "Out of the Black Shadows". It's the story of a man who grew up an orphan in Africa and how he found God. While reading it, he talked about how much he was filled with God's love when he finally found him, and I stopped dead in my tracks (reading tracks) and thought to myself; when was the last time I was dumbfounded by His love for me? When did I last let THAT make my day? When was the last time I thought "His love is enough..with just that, I have the makings of a beautiful day". As horrible as it is to say it, I take it for granted...I've never known a life without any knowledge of God, so I don't know how it feels to discover him in the darkest of times. I can feel Him, I know He is around me always, but it's a comfort feeling, it's familiar as my skin or my ribs, My eyes or my hair.
Though I have the comfort, I want the passion and limitless joy that comes with being reborn, like Stephen has in my book. I know that love and joy is still in me, still close to the surface since I feel God's love daily, I just wish it were pouring out of everything I say and do, like it does for so many new believers. Now, having said that, I have no excuse to make it happen...Let's see if I hold true to what I know is right.
-Kels
Man, Bruno Mars can be a downer...Anyways! Some thoughts:
At the moment, after much frustration, I realize I am where I'm supposed to be. If I were meant to be somewhere else, I'd be there. When I ask God above to make me the women he wants me to be, and show me my path, but nothing changes, maybe it's because I'm actually right where I belong, at this moment, in this time, during these unsure days of my simple, easy life.
I keep thinking of Hawaii, more specifically the ocean...it's calling out to me, I literally FEEL it staring me down...Water is my element, and swimming,my passion...Least one of them. I don't get to revel in this joy as often as I'd like, but when I do,rest assured, I never take it for granted. I am in love; it's power, danger, depth, promises, stories...Everything. I lately feel so far from it, far from a piece of me. I need to get back to the place I really love. And dancing, dancing near the ocean. I've only done it by myself, but it was still the best of all my worlds wrapped into one regular sunrise on a beach in Waikiki...can't quite imagine what it would have been like to have someone there dancing with me. Someday...
I'm reading this book called, "Out of the Black Shadows". It's the story of a man who grew up an orphan in Africa and how he found God. While reading it, he talked about how much he was filled with God's love when he finally found him, and I stopped dead in my tracks (reading tracks) and thought to myself; when was the last time I was dumbfounded by His love for me? When did I last let THAT make my day? When was the last time I thought "His love is enough..with just that, I have the makings of a beautiful day". As horrible as it is to say it, I take it for granted...I've never known a life without any knowledge of God, so I don't know how it feels to discover him in the darkest of times. I can feel Him, I know He is around me always, but it's a comfort feeling, it's familiar as my skin or my ribs, My eyes or my hair.
Though I have the comfort, I want the passion and limitless joy that comes with being reborn, like Stephen has in my book. I know that love and joy is still in me, still close to the surface since I feel God's love daily, I just wish it were pouring out of everything I say and do, like it does for so many new believers. Now, having said that, I have no excuse to make it happen...Let's see if I hold true to what I know is right.
-Kels
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